may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
