two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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