John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My vagina just clenched in fear
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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