dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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