Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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