I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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