Sry I called you an 8
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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