Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
