I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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