Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
