Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I can't turn off my feet"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
