those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
