I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
