So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
