so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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