Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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