If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
foreskin is a definite game changer
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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