Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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