Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
