I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize