he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
this is an emotional support booty call
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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