worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
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