That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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