he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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