I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
