Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
