That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
