I only kidnapped one of them. chill
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
