guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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