his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
