no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
