Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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