Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
