That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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