rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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