There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
