we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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