It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
