if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
