I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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