porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
