please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
