You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
