as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my being single is dangerous.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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