Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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