Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
