You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
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Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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