tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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