In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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