Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
