Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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