Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
