you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
