The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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