addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
