I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
