what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
