butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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