A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
