She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
