I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
