we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
