dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
There's even glitter on my cock...
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