see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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