Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
